An Open Letter

Hi, it’s me again.

 

To go forward, you have to know where you have been. We all need our own narrative. Maybe you feel misled. Sometimes your story is filled with broken pieces, terrible choices and ugly truths. I would like to be a fearless soul and stop limiting beliefs I project on myself.

 

The one thing that drives us and keeps us going is resilience. If nothing else, we have strength and endurance. What matters is you have the power to try. Ultimately, it is our thoughts that hurt us the most.

 

Here is what I know. Happiness cannot be traveled to or owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is a spiritual experience of living every moment with love, grace and gratitude. And then it happens. One day you wake up. You are in this place where everything feels right. Your heart is calm. Your soul is on fire. Your thoughts are positive. Your vision is clear. Finally, you are at peace with where you have been, at peace with what you have been through and at peace with where you are heading.

 

This journey called life is an exciting quest. By denying yourself the plethora of emotions and feelings, we as mere mortals forget that happiness is a feeling too.

 

Life itself is a beautiful mystery. Stay excited and surprised. Enjoy every moment. You do not need to know what unfolds next. Perhaps this is what keeps us open to the great mystery of life.

 

Remember to keep the circle positive, peaceful and loving. ©

 

Written with love.
#mysteryoflife #innerpeace #broken #present #life #joymmillsiwishdeathwouldtakeavacationmystory #buythebook #joymmillsfacebooktagafriend #comment #like #share #joymmillssundaysoullutions

 

Joy M. Mills (IP)
Copyright © 2018
MJM ®

 

*This article is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal or other professional advice. This article was written to support, not replace medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you feel you have a condition.

 

An Open Letter

Hi, it’s me again.

 

Just like that, the days have turned into weeks, months and the anniversary of year two is rolling around. Below is the Epilogue from my newest book, “I Wish Death Would Take a Vacation – My Story.”

 

 

Epilogue

 

You cannot change the past, but you can take responsibility for how you handle yourself moving forward. There are times we are forced to do it afraid.

 

You have to start taking care of yourself. You are loved. You are not defined as a failure because other people believe it to be true. For me, it is not “The End” of my story.

 

There are dreams beyond all of this pain. Let go of what should be. Dare to imagine creating a full and beautiful life for yourself. It takes baby steps. You have only but to look up at the stars and celebrate the small victories. Even when we cannot see them, they are there.

 

My home gives me a sense of security and comfort. Leaving requires me to move out of my comfort zone. My family represents a safe place to rest and recharge. Home is where you can be yourself. It is not a structure; it is not brick or mortar but a place inside your heart, deep in your soul. It is reflective.

 

God will it, so be it. Believe it, and you will gain patience. Grief is not a gallon of milk or a carton of eggs. It is learning to reset your heart. Resetting your heart is letting go of the picture of the way you wanted it to be.

 

I wish I could tell you grief would end with a service on the calendar. What no one tells you is that death is the calendar. Some might think that there is an acceptable shelf life, a handful of weeks and then it should be off the shelf out of our home and permanently removed with the weekly trash service, if it were only that simple.

 

Grief is a long journey. It does not mean you cannot live a happy life, but it is a choice and takes work. Grief never really goes away. You get through each death. You never really get over it. I am going to give myself a break. I was left reeling with my mom’s death. Up until now, I did not understand that when my mom took her last breath, I would be transported back in time to that four-year-old standing in the hallway saying, “Mommy don’t leave me.” It was like someone took a shovel and hit me in the face. I did not know how I was ever going to get back up again. Sometimes you are forced to revisit the past so you can finally lay it to rest. If that ever happens.

 

The key to grieving is not to try and stop it as quickly as possible. Grief cannot be shut off at will despite telling yourself otherwise. What matters is we acknowledge that we are in pain and try to find the goodness in our life despite it.

 

It is important to remember this:  you did not ask to be born into a family with narcissistic people at the helm, but you have a chance every day to begin again, to get in touch with the beauty and the brilliance that is inside you. It has always been there. You deserve to feel wanted, respected and safe. It is your life. You get to call the shots. Remember that. You are more resilient than you know.

 

If you would like to purchase a signed copy of my book, I invite you to click the book tab.

 

Remember to keep the circle positive, peaceful and loving. ©

 

Written with love.
#hope #message #history #whatisnext #gutwrenching #youbecomestrong #brokenplaces #light #thisismystory #joymmillsiwishdeathwouldtakeavacationmystory #joymmillsbuythebook

 

Joy M. Mills
Copyright © 2018

 

*This article is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal or other professional advice. This article was written to support, not replace medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you feel you have a condition.

 

 

 

An Open Letter

Hi, it’s me again.

 

With eyes full of clarity, you are capable of changing the relationships in your life by adjusting your point of view.

 

When you are not a priority, it stings. Unfortunately, timing is a harsh mistress. Do not assume people will respond to things as you will. You will set yourself up and hurt yourself the most. Stop living in a fantasy land of hope and assumptions. That reality will leave you feeling empty. If you are aware of the truth, people cannot manipulate situations.

 

People like this do not mind disappointing you. They do not put much effort into meeting your needs. The sun goes around the earth at the same rate of speed for everyone. We are all busy. You want the outcome of any good relationship to exceed expectations and have a positive impact. When it does not, it is sad.

 

Get out of the fantasy world by not hooking into the thoughts of what could be. The hard part, let it go. Throw expectations and assumptions out the door. Focus on those who genuinely love you. If you remind yourself of those who are there for you, they continue to be there because they care about you.

 

Focus on people who make you feel loved, connected and worthy.

 

Remember to keep the circle positive, peaceful and loving. ©

 

Written with love.
#selfishpeople #worthy #time #priority #dontbefoolish #love #iwishdeathwouldtakeavacationmystory #buythebook

 

Joy M. Mills
Copyright © 2018

 

*This article is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal or other professional advice. This article was written to support, not replace medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you feel you have a condition.

An Open Letter

Where Midnight Runs
By Joy M. Mills

 

Beyond the stars – Where Midnight Runs…

Our life here done

Sunshine begins!

How can we grieve?

Why is it so?

We are human

Everyone must go…

 

The sad part is

No one really knows.

Some of us young

With so much life and potential it seems.

If only we all could spend

Our time here and give

The love

The hope

Encourage each other

Because our time is short

From the first breath we take

Until the last one is done.

We will go beyond – Where Midnight Runs…

 

This isn’t negative

It isn’t really death

It’s life renewing

In a different form.

The rest of us weep

When our loved ones are gone.

The pain

The tears

We all feel and shed.

We take it so for granted

Life I mean

We don’t stop to think about dead.

An awful word

It doesn’t make sense

To those left behind.

We can’t jump the fence.

They are not faraway

They are forever near

Our angels

Our help

Is what they have become

Beyond the sky – Where Midnight Runs….

 

They are at peace and so must we be.

Their bodies are gone

Their spirits set free.

“Remember the promise”

Again we will see them

Hold them close

So grieve not my friends.

Easily said

Your loved one

Has risen

Their soul is alive

No such word as gone

Beyond the sky – Where Midnight Runs…

 

So laughter through tears

When your heart aches so bad

Remember their smiles and try not to be sad.

They have gone beyond

The Stars

To a better place

No more heartache

No more pain

Where Midnight Runs…

 

Copyright © Joy M. Mills 2013

 

*This article is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal or other professional advice. This article was written to support, not replace medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you feel you have a condition.

 

An Open Letter

Hi, it’s me again.

 

Stay away from negative people. They have a problem for every solution. Think for yourself. Trust your intuition. Another’s mind is not walking your journey, you are.

 

In any relationship, do boundaries get set? When you hurt someone, do you pretend to suffer a memory lapse suddenly or are confused about the facts? Demolish as a verb is to pull or knock down, destroy or flatten, bulldoze or topple. Negative people do all of the above.

 

When people in positions of power lie, you not only become disaffected with them but you become alienated with everything they represent. Manipulative people are in every walk of life. You might meet them at work, or they take credit for your achievements or in social situations they are controlling, demanding or even abusive.

 

Everyone falls out at times and then there are those that flip the script. Manipulative people are masters at smoke and mirrors. If you are their target, they will have intensely studied you and will know all of your strengths and weaknesses. These are the tools to understand how to wind you up. Often, they will accuse you of the very things they have done themselves. Ultimately, to a manipulator, everything is a game. It happens slowly, so the victim does not see the deception coming.

 

Do not get emotionally overwhelmed. Primarily, you do not want to get into a heated debate. To do so, you cannot react too aggressively. Some issues are objective, and some are subjective. Make sure you are correct. Whenever you think you are right, prove it without making assumptions.

 

The devil does not care if you go to church or read your bible as long as you do not apply it to your life.

 

Remember to keep the circle positive, peaceful and loving. ©

 

Written with love.
#demolish #manipulators #youlie #emotional #bible #god #deception #yourjourney #iwishdeathwouldtakeavacationmystory #buythebook #sundaysoullutions

 

Joy M. Mills
Copyright © 2018

 

*This article is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal or other professional advice. This article was written to support, not replace medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you feel you have a condition.

 

 

An Open Letter

Hi, it’s me again.

 

I have been thinking about all of the emotional stressors such as relationship issues. There is no peaceful way out of any mess. Turn your mess into your message.

 

When we feel responsible for those around us and take on the responsibility, we put our life on hold. These are unresolved issues in your heart and mind. The reason behind all efforts to fix someone else’s life is a secret desire to help ourselves. When you can figure these things out it is much easier to work out instead of that little voice or nagging feeling inside that disrupt us and keeps us off balance.

 

I believe the most significant events in our lives – good or bad – allow us to draw insight, wisdom, and experience from what happened to us then we can look at it as an investment instead of a loss. We have to work through our thoughts, sometimes change our perspective. Each of us has a different trajectory; at times, harsh. Save yourself.

 

Change is frightening. When people around us are feeling angry, we feel compelled to save them from this feeling if we do not feel comfortable with anger. Saying yes all of the time is harming those you are saying yes to and hindering their growth. You are not a crutch. While crutches are sometimes necessary, relying on them for too long weakens you.

 

Learning to love and respect yourself enough to cut ties with those who do not make you a better person will bring a significant amount of happiness to your life.

 

Keep it simple. Rinse and repeat as many times as necessary.

 

Remember to keep the circle positive, peaceful and loving. ©

 

Written with love.
#loveyourself #nostagefiveclingers #saveyourself #insanity #thinkaboutit #iwishdeathwouldtakeavacation #buythebook

 

Joy M. Mills
Copyright © 2018

 

*This article is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal or other professional advice. This article was written to support, not replace medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you feel you have a condition.

 

An Open Letter

Hi, it’s me again.

 

I heard something said about another person a little over a month ago at an event. A woman who is known for stirring up drama, prompted by someone else or not, passed judgment. There is nothing humorous about her behavior. We all know one of these. Her snarky statement had been overheard and repeated, which is another blog. I began to think what another must have said to make her believe it was okay to make such a politically incorrect joke assigning herself as judge, jury and executioner. Was it jealousy or insecurity?

 

The act of judgment is an act of pride. It involves looking at our store of knowledge putting together a few facts. All too often it is the wrong solution or answer and ends in hurting someone else. For all this woman has, it makes me sad she has to stoop to such low levels to get attention.

 

Everything needed to break unhappy cycles are within you. Making judgments behind someone’s back is just as bad as saying it to their face. When you make snarky, ugly comments and a person overhears it; you are rude. It speaks volumes about you as a person, not the other person at all.

 

Bad comments do not determine a person’s worth. If you overhear it, do not encourage it, walk away.

 

When people are scared and feel insecure, they try to feel better by putting other people down. I would love to sit here and write I am a perfect, open and a loving person and that I have never judged someone. That is not the case. I hate that I have to admit it. We all need to work on it. Willfully hurting others and causing trouble is wrong. It is bullying without having the nerve to say it to someone’s face.

 

In the last decade I have become more comfortable with who I am; therefore, I do not participate in these antics. I have learned to leave the room. We all have to be self-assured enough not to cast a downward glance at others.

 

Judgment is something we do without thinking. If it does not belong to you, leave it where it is. It is not your house so stop cleaning it.

 

Destiny determines who enters your life, but you decide who stays. The truth hurts only once. A lie, every time you remember it. We are in a world spiraling out of control. What we do not consider is judgment day is coming for all of us.

 

My prayer is that our behavior is not the impetus for something horrific happening. We came into the world alone, we are leaving alone and will answer for everything we have or have not done. The choices are yours.

 

Remember to keep the circle positive, peaceful and loving. ©

 

Written with love.
#stopjudging #nodrama #alittlekindnessgoesalongway #stopcomplaining #donotrepeat #godhelpusall #shameonyou

 

Joy M. Mills
Copyright © 2018

 

*This article is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal or other professional advice. This article was written to support, not replace medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you feel you have a condition.

 

An Open Letter

Hi, it’s me again.

 

Most people intuitively know when it is time to cut ties. Sadly, we may have carried this knowledge for a long time before we are ever ready to make the jump.

 

In just a few words, family defines us. Families can be the ones that drive you nuts. Is there a fair trade? Do you have to take the good with the bad? Just because you were born into chaos, does that mean you have to remain there stuck?

 

The key ingredients in a healthy relationship are acceptance, love, the ability to agree or disagree and mutual respect without having to change or control each other.

 

Sometimes you may need to cut some family out of your life whether momentarily or permanently. Keeping an open space for them and continuing to make an effort to reach out is emotionally exhausting.

 

Short-term ease equals long-term pain for you if you do not recognize situations for what they are. It is up to you to act. Keep things intact if you can but do not be afraid to let go and do things for you if you must.

 

Learn to accept and value you. No one else’s judgement should be the inner voice in your head creating thoughts of ridicule or self-doubt. All details to the side, this is your life. You may not be able to control all things toxic to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them in the long run. Do not be fooled.

 

Remember to keep the circle positive, peaceful and loving. ©

 

Written with love.
#stop #think #act #family #happiness #peace #selfcare #control #dontbefooled

 

Joy M. Mills
Copyright © 2018

 

The Role of Free Will and Choice

To be honest, in the beginning, I felt a bit apprehensive about this project and can say now it is complete. Praise the Lord.

I am excited!

#newbeginnings #finishedproject #death #mom #headedforhome

 

An Open Letter

Hi, it’s me again.

 

Have you ever felt trapped in God’s little acre, east of the rock and west of the hard place?

 

There is no requirement to attend every argument you have received an invitation to including the ones with yourself. There are going to be times in your life when you feel you have mastered all of the wrong lessons. You are forced to start over. That sucks.

 

If you wrote a letter to yourself, would it look like this?

 

Dear Me,

 

I am putting it out there and declaring my intentions. The time has come to heal on a deeper level and look at my life from a different perspective; ask for what I want and remain true to myself all of the time. The minute I forget this, the enemy will step in, “ME in my way.”

 

I realize I have to be the hero of my spiritual journey. Like any great hero, I have to slay the demons of illusion with the sword of knowledge and the shield of courage.

 

My direction is to head towards a stable situation and step into a peaceful place.

 

There are times I feel chased by pain and weakness that rest deep in my heart. I am learning there is nothing wrong with self-care.

 

Love,

 

Me

 

Here is what I know for sure, drama begets drama. We are all teachers and students. We teach, and we learn. If we haven’t learned, we find ourselves trapped in God’s little acre.

 

What I have learned, try and get it right.

 

Remember to keep the circle positive, peaceful and loving. ©

 

Written with love.
#Godslittleacre #Eastversuswest #peace

 

Joy M. Mills
Copyright © 2018

 

*This article is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal or other professional advice. This article was written to support, not replace medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you feel you have a condition.