An Open Letter

Childhood gifted me with a number of unhealthy survival mechanisms which still follow me around today:  a deep fear of conflict because for me conflict meant someone would leave. Constant apologies and guilt I am not responsible for and a voice in the back of my mind telling me no matter what I do, who […]

Food for Thought

I used to be a nice person; I would always put others before myself and appease those around me. I would volunteer to do the bulk of the work for various projects. I backed down from my requests if it inconvenienced anyone. It left me exhausted.   If you are always giving, people will expect […]

The Role of Free Will and Choice

Last week, someone told me a story of their adult child bullying, infighting and cursing them out. They were heartbroken. When did that kind of disrespect become okay? It will suck the life out of you. Stop giving it attention. If it were a job, you would need to quit. If it is a person, […]

An Open Letter

I am going to be honest with you. For a long season in my life, it felt like I was going through the motions trying to get through the next day. Because of that, I was not able to enjoy what was right in front of me. At other times, I carried an abysmal pit […]

The Role of Free Will and Choice

One of the joys of being human is we do not have to be perfect to be one of the good ones. As a parent, the word estrangement was not in my vocabulary before it happened to me four years ago. And like many parents, I was ashamed and reluctant to talk about it. I […]

Food for Thought

The act of disappearing like a phantom is known as ghosting.   Ghosting is when a person suddenly ceases communication with someone out of nowhere, seemingly without warning or provocation. The opposite of love is not hate; it is indifference. Little did I know I have actually experienced it myself in the past! I was […]

An Open Letter

My philosophy is I have more faith than fear. I choose to be grateful. I take responsibility for my happiness. I am not a victim. I do not replay hardships of my past over and over. I have learned to save myself from myself. I chose to stop listening to doubt. I own my mistakes […]

Food for Thought

Be willing, not perfect. You have to decide how you will deal with a crazy situation before you get into it because when you are dealing with an emergency or making a decision on the fly, your immediate needs and fears typically cause you to make choices you would not have made if you were […]

The Role of Free Will and Choice

There is a difference between giving up and knowing you have had enough.   If you are not one of those beautiful people in the world, then to some people you mean nothing. You seek people who express themselves by wearing darker clothes, too much makeup or piercings we do not understand. We judge them. […]

An Open Letter

If I were writing a letter and I am supposed to be loving me first, should not the letter be addressed as “It is me?” I would address the letter as, “Joy, wake up. How have you been?”   I have been on quite a journey these past two weeks. I hugged my knees, cried […]