For 2021, accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in your journey.

We are headed into the third year of uncertainty, 2022. Of course, sometimes we get out of our heads long enough to focus on the present, accept it and make the best of it. It is not often enough.

We let the minor frustrations of each day blind us to the beauty in front of us. We get caught up in our heads and don’t know our lives to be better other than the few things that aren’t going our way. We call people to complain or spew out our gripes on social media. The older we grow, the quieter we become, and the less pointless drama and chaos we engage in frequently. When we are young, it seems as if faster is better. But in time, we witness the power of slow and steady at work. Life humbles us gradually as we age. We realize how much nonsense we have wasted time on in the past. Truth be told, the afternoon understands what the morning never expected.

I am endlessly fascinated by the link between the way we choose to live our lives and the happiness we enjoy on a daily basis or should enjoy. Let’s look back on 2021. We couldn’t stop looking. After all, we like a good train wreck or dumpster fire.

A month or so ago, I asked myself, what is one of the most important takeaways from this year? It is not the weight that breaks you down; it is the way you carry it. Compassion is the key to overcoming hardship. You can never know how many lives you have touched. Just remember, it is far more than you think. Even the tiniest acts of love and kindness can have a massive ripple effect.

Thank God that time is continuously moving us forward to a place of renewed perspective when we encounter those days, weeks or months when we do not have the vision or strength to move forward.

As we enter this new year, do not waste your energy fighting against where you are. Invest your energy in where you want to go. A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking because its trust is not on the branch but in its wings.

Happy New Year!

Remember to keep the circle positive, peaceful and loving. ©

Written with love.

Joy M. Mills (IP)
Copyright © 2020
MJM ®

*This article is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal or other professional advice. This article was written to support, not replace medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you feel you have a condition.

Marine Lance Corporal Jared Schmitz’s Final Homecoming

On Wednesday, September 8, 2021, I stood in support and respect of the family of the young Marine Lance Corporal Jared Schmitz. It was solemn. I was in awe of our humanity. It reminded me of what we are all capable of doing.

In my lifetime, I have never witnessed people coming together as they did on Wednesday. There were no politics, no colors, just everyone coming together unified for what was a terrible situation.

I listened to God Bless America playing in the distance, others pledging allegiance to our flags flying as far as the eye could see and saying prayers. A sea of people (thousands) lined up along the route from St. Louis Airport to St. Charles, MO, all coming together. It was so quiet as the procession came through, hands on hearts and salutes. It made me cry.

As I look back on the twentieth anniversary of 9/11, it was another time in our history, for a brief moment, we could all come together. This shows me we are all capable of supporting and respecting each other when we want to. Does it always have to be after horrific events?

Jared was twenty years old. If you put it in its proper perspective, he was only out of high school a little over two years. Yet, this one-man plus twelve of his comrades could bring us all together united in our grief. Hopefully, soon, we can remember united we stand, one nation under God, indivisible, and what our country was founded on; why young men and women put on uniforms, most to do a job they love, to keep us all safe. It is the same with the first responders and every other person who wears a uniform. God bless all of them.

Maybe one day we can all come together and be able to agree to disagree respectfully. People can stop to hear each other and listen to one another as they did this past Wednesday and the day after 911 so long ago.

Semper Fi (always faithful and always loyal) for Marine Lance Corporal Jared Schmitz, one of eleven Marines, one Navy Corpsman and one Army soldier killed due to an enemy attack while supporting non-combative evacuation operations, the ultimate sacrifice. May you all rest easy, and may we never forget.

Remember to keep the circle positive, peaceful and loving. ©

Written with love.

Thank you KC for the photo.

Joy M. Mills
Copyright © 2021
MJM ®

**This article is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal or other professional advice. This article was written to support, not replace medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you feel you have a condition.

The tongue is the deadliest weapon. It is quick, sharp like a sword; it is fire and full of poison.

I am sure you heard the expression, “Everyone is entitled to their opinion.” Perhaps you have even said it to yourself, maybe to head off an argument or bring one to a close.

Based on where the world is right now, I am in the mindset you are only entitled to what you can argue for, a bit harsh, perhaps? You can learn how to construct and defend an argument and recognize when a belief has become indefensible.

All too often, the problem with “I am entitled to my opinion” is that it is used to shelter beliefs that should have been abandoned. It becomes shorthand, or I can say or do whatever I like. By extension, continuing to argue is somehow disrespectful. I believe this attitude feeds into the false equivalence between experts and non-experts and is an increasingly pernicious feature of public discourse. What I see happening and what I wish would happen is silence – vaccinated versus non-vaccinated; masks versus non-masks; you voted for this person, I didn’t. These are all opinions, and everyone has one.

There is wisdom in silence. Silence gives the other person time to process their thoughts. Have you ever noticed that you make the most insight when you share with someone else by being allowed to speak without interruption? It helps to process one’s thoughts and possibly figure out a solution.

Remember, silence separates your emotions from their emotions. We can be a part of another person’s sharing without interference in telling them how they must feel. Silence stirs wisdom and seeks truth. Impulsive speaking can cause a more foolish or selfish reaction. Everything we hear goes through a selfish filter that needs to be processed before we can actually speak our words or respond.

When we detach ourselves from a situation, we can see so much clarity and conviction.

Remember to keep the circle positive, peaceful and loving. ©

Written with love.

Joy M. Mills
Copyright © 2021
MJM ®

**This article is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal or other professional advice. This article was written to support, not replace medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you feel you have a condition.

Doggonit! An army of weeds has taken over the yard. You better call a weed guy. This is how most people assess a backyard overrun with dandelions but not children. They see a thousand wishes, thousands of flowers to give to mom.

It is true. A backyard flushed with dandelions can inspire an hour of an exciting adventure for a five-year-old. That exact same backyard can also inspire an hour of explanative laden adjectives for a fifty-year-old. It is the exact same scene but an entirely different perspective.

The cool thing? You get to choose, and your choice can change everything. It is the most important factor that determines the likelihood of your happiness and success. Believe it or not, most of the things we don’t like about life are changeable. The tricky part is that to get the result we desire, the first thing that needs to change is us. Is it really that simple? Actually, yes.

A change in perspective can change everything.

Remember to keep the circle positive, peaceful and loving. ©

Written with love.

Joy M. Mills
Copyright © 2021
MJM ®

**This article is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal or other professional advice. This article was written to support, not replace medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you feel you have a condition.

It is March again, which means we have spent twelve full months with life entirely upside down. People we loved and cared about that were here a year ago may not be today. The current state of affairs put the world on pause, but this pause allowed me to reflect on troubling matters. A time that so many others like me probably desperately needed to heal, not even knowing it. Sometimes it takes one’s world falling apart from the most beautiful mosaic to be built back up from the broken pieces.

Doubt your doubts before you doubt your hopes. Positivity is a choice. Choose wisely. Be smart to walk away from the negativity around you. It is never worth your while ever to engage in senseless drama.

Here is what I have learned, some people don’t notice things we do until we stop doing them. If you are struggling with this, know you are not alone. With Covid and so much turmoil in the world today, many of us are right there with you. Working hard to feel better, think more clearly, and live a life free of regret from moment to precious moment.

Nurture your important relationships so that when you tell people you love them, it is merely a ritualistic validation of what you already have shown them.

Maybe the world needed a time out to remember how to appreciate what it had but forgot to experience. Life is to be lived through the experience, not to be used as a pastime to observe and compare oneself with others.

I will leave you with a simple reminder, never forget to take care and love more because in a world where life is unpredictable and ever-changing, one cannot risk taking time or loved ones for granted. With that, I wish you a happy spring, and I look forward to your comments.

See you in April.

Remember to keep the circle positive, peaceful and loving. ©

Written with love.

Joy M. Mills
Copyright © 2021
MJM ®

**This article is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal or other professional advice. This article was written to support, not replace medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you feel you have a condition.

I had written something that resonated with a lot of you. If people are too hurt, too busy or just too damn stupid to see you are the blessing they have been asking for, then fall back. I know my worth. I deserve happiness. I deserve respect, and I deserve love. I have everything I need.

Let’s be honest. If you are not currently enjoying your life and you are not waking up every morning with a sense of excitement, you need to do something about it. You deserve to live a good life which is the encouragement I have been giving my husband these past few weeks. It made me seriously start thinking about stress that can make you physically ill. Stress is a vital warning system.

We all have that one friend or family member who is a constant drain on our energy. You want to keep that person in your life or may have to, but you could do without the huge amount of stress. While you cannot change who someone is, you can do a lot to remove the dysfunction from the situation. It is delicate. There are methods for staying sane for when the crazy train comes crashing into town.

What to do with the high maintenance people? They live in a world that revolves around them. They require a lot of time, money and effort. So, the only schedule that works for them is their own. They talk themselves up, they talk others down, and they will often forget or ignore the times you might need support.

It may be hard to know why someone may say or do something designed to hurt your feelings. If you do happen to be at the receiving end of this, do not let anyone else’s behavior change who you are. How many times do you have to remind yourself not to take it personally? People will judge you, hurt you and put you down to try and break you. Most often, this will have nothing to do with you.

What I have learned, I can acknowledge their feelings, but I do not have to buy into them. Even if people like this are shown to be wrong, they will not apologize and feel they owe you nothing. They will justify their behavior as examples of their strength and other favorable attributes. They will become defensive.

Life is capricious. It breeds interruptions and imperfections regularly. You can rarely count on things going according to plan, but you can plan for potential problems and handle them well.

You should not brag, but you should not be afraid to stand for what is good about you. It does not mean you have to tell people these things directly. The number one way to stop others from taking advantage of you is by setting clear, enforceable boundaries. You might get brushed aside, but someone reminded me in this past week, “You are a diamond, dear. They can’t break you.”

Remember to keep the circle positive, peaceful and loving. ©

Written with love.

Joy M. Mills
Copyright © 2021
MJM ®

**This article is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal or other professional advice. This article was written to support, not replace medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you feel you have a condition.

Let’s be honest, 2020 rolled in as a kick in the ass, and nothing has calmed. This year will go down in history as one where we have lost, won, failed, cried, laughed, and loved. If we are lucky enough to be here still, we did not fold.

As 2020 winds down, I know many of us are yearning for the normal times (pre-Covid-19). This year continues to give us an extensive array of experiences that invoke feelings of sadness, struggle, pride, anger and loneliness. Regardless of the season in our lives we find ourselves in, we still can find happiness in the little things, and then there is always hope; hope that next year, as far as the pandemic goes; we can get a good widespread vaccine and promising therapeutics.

Changing our mindset has not come easily for any of us, especially as we have collectively dealt with the realities of Covid-19 and so many other events.

The sharpest weapon we have against anxiety, negativity and stress is our ability to choose one present thought for another. Remember, love has not been postponed, closed or canceled. Hope has not been postponed, closed or canceled. With that said, neither has grief. I have lost many friends and clients this year from Covid-19, not to mention other illnesses and injuries. These do not include the stories of others I heard about and did not know. It makes my heart ache, and I have shed many tears. I also have many friends who have caught the dreaded scourge and since have gotten well, which made me happy, so none of this makes sense to me why some are here and others are not. Only God himself knows the answer.

What makes me more upset is that no one is coming together, and the cavalier attitudes are not helping. We need to find a way to come together as human beings. Apparently, we are not listening. How many more wake-up calls do we need before we start treating each other with respect? Everyone has a right to their beliefs and their opinions. It is not up to us to judge them. We all are dealing with serious issues. Life is happening.

What will be your takeaway from 2020? It is not the weight that breaks you down, it is the way you carry it. Compassion is the key to overcoming hardship. You can never know how many lives you have touched. Remember, it is far more than you think. Even the tiniest acts of kindness can have a massive ripple effect.

Thank you for reading. I truly appreciate your support. Happy New Year to all of you. Stay safe.

Remember to keep the circle positive, peaceful and loving. ©

Written with love.

Joy M. Mills
Copyright © 2020
MJM ®

**This article is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal or other professional advice. This article was written to support, not replace medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you feel you have a condition.

When you squeeze the toothpaste out of the tube, you cannot put it back in. The same can be said about the words that come out of our mouths. Once they come out, they cannot be put back in.

Words are powerful in both positive and negative ways. To build a culture of kindness, we must realize the power of our words. We must realize our words can have a great positive effect or a devastatingly negative effect on those who hear them. A culture of kindness can only be built when the words that come out of our mouths or from our hearts are saturated with the power to lift people up, encourage them, and give them the strength to get through whatever it is that is happening in their day.

It does not matter that you did not mean it or were joking; sometimes, words just hurt. When we use them, we have a responsibility to do so with an awareness of their impact.

We can activate the power of evil or the power of life with our tongue; words matter.

Proverbs 12:18 – The words of the reckless pierce like swords but the tongue of the wise bring healing.

Remember to keep the circle positive, peaceful and loving. ©

Written with love.

Joy M. Mills (IP)
Copyright © 2020
MJM ®

**This article is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal or other professional advice. This article was written to support, not replace medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you feel you have a condition.

This month you might think, based on the above picture, I am going to tell you how to live in a constant state of love and positivity. That is not the case, nor is it realistic. The truth does not cease to exist when it is forgotten. As we live our lives, we inevitably encounter distressing situations and tough periods, which can bring out unloving responses for those around us. In particular, in what has been one of the most distressing periods in history.

What I am relearning over time is how to choose empathy and kindness for myself and others, even during times of conflict and instability. Life is messy. I am a human being, and it is not always easy.

Being on this long break, I have been trying to break an unhealthy relationship with soda. I find myself having emotional outbursts, at times with my head throbbing from caffeine withdrawal. I find myself angry at me for not listening to my doctors when I was told it is imperative I stop drinking soda. One morning, not long ago, I grumbled to myself in the kitchen, I yelled at those around me to clean off my countertops. Those that know me understand I can be a bit of a neat freak; this can be a good quality, but not when breakfast is being served.

When there was minimal improvement on the countertops, I found myself spewing out a tirade of complaints. As the harsh words tumbled out of my mouth, I cringed. I sounded so unreasonable, erratic and irrational. I was unhinged. In my state of duress, I could not pull it together. What I had to remind myself, as I calmed, irrationality loses power in the face of reason. Fear wanes in the presence of calm.

I stepped outside with my cup of coffee, found a seat, and asked myself three questions. Is what I was saying reasonable? Did I sound like the voice of reason? Did my body language match my voice and words? The answers to these questions that morning, no. So, I found myself contributing to conflict. Most days, my answer would be yes; but on this morning, I needed to walk it back.

Think of the progress all of us could make if we offered compassion and sought out understanding in a time of great uncertainty. Our ability to choose one good thought over another is our sharpest tool against anxiety, negativity, and stress.

Remember to keep the circle positive, peaceful and loving. ©

Written with love.

Joy M. Mills (IP)
Copyright © 2020
MJM ®

**This article is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal or other professional advice. This article was written to support, not replace medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you feel you have a condition.

We are all looking forward to living life after the pandemic. Exactly when that is going to be, none of us really know.

Shoes are mentioned often in the bible, usually symbolizing our direction and life path. We wear them to protect our feet from the elements when the ground beneath them is too cold or too hot for our soles to withstand.

Do not get to the end of your life and find you only lived the length of it. You have to live the width of it as well. When it comes to living as a passionate, inspired human being, the only challenge greater than learning to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes is learning to live a lifetime comfortably in your own.

I pray you find peace and acceptance, the kind that rings through your bones. I pray you forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made for the past you keep alive inside of you. I pray you learn to let go of the things you had to do to heal or survive. You are doing your best. You are human. I pray you connect with the small things. I pray you look at someone mid-conversation, and you feel your stomach surge with feelings you have for them. I pray you surround yourself with the kind of friends that encourage your spontaneity that are always there for you. Most of all, I pray you find yourself out there and travel to places that cleanse your soul. I pray you figure out your heart. I pray you figure out your mind. I pray you learn how to be kind to yourself and to embrace the journey you are on.

Do not let your old problems punish your dreams. Learn to let go of the things you cannot control. The next time you are tempted to rant about a situation you think ended unfairly, remind yourself of this, you will never kill off your anger by beating the story to death. So, close your mouth, unclench your fists, and redirect your thoughts.

Follow your heart and take your brain with you. When you are truly comfortable in your skin, not everyone will like you, but you will not care about it one bit.

For me, my shoes are red patent leather Mary Jane’s. There is a story that goes with these shoes. You can read that story in one of my books, I Wish Death Would Take A Vacation, My Story, ISBN-13:  978-0-9854367-1-1.

Remember to keep the circle positive, peaceful and loving. ©

Written with love.

Joy M. Mills (IP)
Copyright © 2020
MJM ®

**This article is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal or other professional advice. This article was written to support, not replace medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you feel you have a condition.