The Role of Free Will and Choice


You are at a point on your journey, and the way you think things should be gets derailed. This sudden transformation is difficult to process. You feel shocked, scared and concerned or uncertain. When someone you love falls ill, gets into an accident or receives a scary health diagnosis, it is never easy. It may be the hardest thing you ever have to face. Unfortunately, it is also inevitable that we all will have to deal with this situation in life.


In the early hours of March 1, my husband yelled out my name as if his life was dependent on me helping him. It was. Between what was happening, trying to remain calm for him with 911 on the line, and the minutes ticking by as if they were hours waiting for help to arrive, life as we knew it would never be the same.


When you are younger, you visualize a picture of what your life would be like in five years. You fantasize about your future. You imagine peace, health and happiness. Fast forward twenty-five years, your life is nothing like you imagined. The onset of my husband’s recent health scare was a not so gentle reminder of what I was not doing right, not taking care of myself.


How do I prioritize when I am pouring from an empty cup? Taking care of yourself does not feel like the priority. Your best does not feel good enough because you have spent time focusing on everyone else’s needs. I have been working on trying to prioritize myself. I often fail miserably. What happens when you are desperately trying to fill your cup, but circumstances keep pouring your cup out and leaving it empty? You become tired and frustrated.


If you are running on empty, break the habit before it breaks you. People will ask you what or who you love, and yourself is not on the list. You have trouble saying no to people even when you know you are stretched too thin. Put your needs first. If you cannot put your whole heart into something, there is no shame in stepping away. By weeding out what is unimportant, we will become more balanced individuals.


My husband being seriously ill for the second time in our marriage has made me take a closer look at priorities. There have been other times that were heady but nothing like this. I am going to get good at saying no. Inner peace begins when you choose not to allow another person or event to control you.


One valuable lesson we often forget in love and life is you are made to survive the hardest days. When I have heard, you cannot pour from an empty cup I always took it in the context of a metaphor as we are to take care of ourselves. Prioritizing self-care and perceiving it as a necessity rather than an indulgence is important because self-care is about preservation, not selfishness.


Remember to keep the circle positive, peaceful and loving. ©


Written with love.


Joy M. Mills (IP)
Copyright © 2019


*This article is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal or other professional advice. This article was written to support, not replace medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you feel you have a condition.




Disclaimer: This article is not intended to address those with clinical depression or other mental illnesses.