One of the most insidious and destructive forms of bullying is those closest to us when done in the name of love. I have learned there are ways to minimize the effects of relating to dysfunctional people. I would like to share them.
- Practice your responses ahead of time, so they are not automatic. Use “I” messages rather than “You” messages. “I” messages keep the focus on what you are trying to communicate.
- Remove yourself from the situation. You are not responsible for a Bully’s feelings, for solving their problems or for ignoring your own needs, so they are happy.
- Look for the nearest exit. If it makes no sense, it is nonsense. Don’t start a day tensed up, finishing your day drained, exhausted and overwhelmed. Walk away!
You change for two reasons: either you learn enough that you want to or you are hurting enough you have to.
Think of a traffic signal: first, you see a yellow light warning you to slow down preparing you to stop. Then you see a red light mandating you to stop. Perhaps you weren’t even paying attention, and the last thing you remember is the crash. You made a quick decision to ignore the warning, take the risk and forge your way through the intersection. One of our many life lessons, pay attention to the yellow lights.
Remember to keep the circle positive, peaceful and loving. ©
Written with love.
Joy M. Mills
Copyright © 2017
*This article is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal or other professional advice. This article was written to support, not replace medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you feel you have a condition.