As I am coming up on the third lap around the sun of the death of my mother, I find myself reflective and grateful to have witnessed the humble, elegant, peaceful passing of my 89-year-old mother. Who knew I would be given so many gifts from one very painful death.
On the final day of her life, I had sat there in silence, in tears, and in awe of a woman who was never given a voice. She could speak but was never allowed to talk or share experiences without someone around her shutting her down or demeaning her. Yet, she remained humble and sweet her entire life. I never understood any of this until today. Her faith remained strong. I realize now, she was more interested in eternal life and everyone’s salvation. She understood this and talked about it often, and made it her mission.
The night of her death, as I drove home, two questions kept circling through my mind: Am I living well? Did my mom name me Joy because she could give me nothing else? These questions are tough. I am happy to say I am paving my path. Your needs matter; do not ignore them. Sometimes you have to do what is best for you, not everyone else.
If we could learn to think better, we can ultimately learn to live better. It is crazy to see all of the beauty that comes from incredible pain. Life is unpredictable. It does not mean we are powerless, or we do not have many options to create meaning and find joy.
The happiest people live with not a set of circumstances but a specific set of attitudes.
When we are in the lowest of lows, we ultimately lose sight of the goodness in our lives. Gratitude becomes the first step in recovery after grief. Grief stains everything. To be grateful for what you focus on grows. Stop managing your time. Start managing your focus.
Our character is often most evident at our highs and lows. Be humble at the mountain top, be strong in the valleys, and be faithful in between.
Look for book two in the series I Wish Death Would Take A Vacation. Book one is I Wish Death Would Take A Vacation – My Story and book two is I Wish Death Would Take A Vacation – The Story Continues, due out this week.
Remember to keep the circle positive, peaceful and loving. ©
Written with love.
Joy M. Mills (IP)
Copyright © 2019
*This article is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal or other professional advice. This article was written to support, not replace medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you feel you have a condition.